“I Lived in That Shadow Too”: Kelley Earnhardt Reveals the Harsh Questions Raised at Dale Earnhardt Sr’s Relationship With Her

Dale Earnhardt Sr remains a legendary fixture in the world of motorsports. The Intimidator was especially known for his ruthless driving on the tracks and benevolent nature off them. But media reports and famous pieces can only reveal so much. In family matters, it turns out that Dale Sr did not sport the best name. Some say he could not be an ideal father as well.

This less-known side of the 76-time NASCAR Cup winner may shock Earnhardt fans. One reason could be the fame that Dale Earnhardt Sr’s racetrack glory brought to him. 23 years after his tragic passing, his daughter recollects the more difficult memories.

Dale Earnhardt’s children took different paths

In the season-opening Daytona 500 race in 2001, Dale Earnhardt Sr crashed and tragically lost his life. He left a glittering 25-year-old legacy with seven championships, and two grieving children. Kelley Earnhardt Miller was heartbroken due to one thing. However, according to some sources, the father-daughter duo was not on speaking terms for three weeks before Dale Earnhardt made his final journey.

This partially reveals the difficult relationship Miller had with her dad. She elaborated on that amidst the sweeter memories on The Kenny Wallace Show. Wallace broached Earnhardt’s fame, asking Miller if she inherited her father’s nonchalant traits. “Your father would hurt my feelings at times…because you know he was so good to me, and then he would walk by me like he didn’t know me. Is that an Earnhardt trait?”

Kelley Earnhardt Miller replied that she herself faced the caveats of her father’s glamor. “Not me… You know, Kenny, I think it’s not me because I lived in that shadow too…of my dad being famous and the same thing.” She added that, despite her undying love for her dad, the thorny part of their relationship was a reality. “My dad is by far the most awesome person in the universe…the most awesome racecar driver. But our dad-daughter relationship was tough. It’s the same thing: Where was the time for Kelley? Where was Kelley valued by her dad? Where was Kelley’s worth in her dad’s life? And I struggled with all of that.”

This topic found a place in her book, “Drive: 9 Lessons to Win in Business and in Life.” The fact that Miller could not reconcile with Dale Sr before he passed away dealt a harsh blow to her. She resorted to therapy to address her unresolved issues with her father, and this enormously helped Miller, and she was determined not to continue the cycle of hurtfulness for her future family and employees.

That is what Kelley Earnhardt Miller emphasized next in the conversation with Kenny Wallace. “I believe that that childhood piece of me I’ve taken to the future for better or worse in just the way I treat people. I want people to know that they’re appreciated, they’re valued, and they’re important…I try real hard at work. I know all my employees’ names. I know their kids, I know what they’re doing.” At a time when mental illnesses surface more frequently, being kind is crucial. “You can’t do that enough for people especially in this day and age when life is tough and mental illness is there…You just can’t be a kind enough person.”

This invaluable kindness also extended to her brother, Dale Earnhardt Jr.

However, Miller had her brother’s back

The Earnhardt siblings went through turbulent times in their childhood. Things started changing when Dale Earnhardt separated from their mother, Brenda Jackson, whose house burned down. Dale assumed custody of the kids and followed it up with some tough love. Both Dale Jr. and Kelley got into trouble frequently, and Earnhardt was a disciplinarian. So they looked out for each other, as Dale Jr said in 2019. “Like, one of us might screw up, but if we were together, we both went into it…In defense of each other.”

Yet eventually, Dale Earnhardt’s untimely death strengthened the brother-sister bond like nothing else. Kelley Earnhardt Miller almost immediately decided to support her brother’s racing ambitions. She told NBC Sports in 2022: “It was my dad’s death that put me in place to take the role I did with Dale. As the big sister, I was always there from the standpoint of our parents getting divorced early and the house fire and losing our mom and losing our dad. I kind of always had the caretaker role through the changes we had. I went off to work in licensing and doing other stuff, but my dad’s death kind of catapulted me into coming to work for Dale six months later and running his business.”

Thus, Dale Earnhardt’s legacy lives strongly in his children’s hearts for both good and bad reasons. He continues to motivate them to excel in their lives and be kinder to people.